Relationships are a major part of the social support network that is pivotal to our mental health and well-being. Whether your relationship is in great shape or not so much, there are some things you can do to move it in a healthier direction.
People in healthy relationships focus on the things they can control and aren’t afraid to talk about the hard stuff—including sex, intimacy, and feelings of romance and love. They communicate openly and respectfully, and they’re not afraid to argue without being defensive or attacking one another. They also prioritize spending quality time together, focusing on activities that help them bond as a team and strengthen their emotional connection.
Healthy couples also value their own interests and encourage each other to pursue their goals. They may even share hobbies, like cooking or playing video games, but they don’t feel the need to “complete” each other.
In unhealthy relationships, one person takes advantage of the other, making them feel guilty or resentful for their own achievements and needs. They might manipulate the other to get what they want by creating feelings of pity, guilt, jealousy or fear, or they might try to control them through manipulative tactics, such as controlling who they spend time with or how they use money, or by emotionally blackmailing them into feeling angry or betrayed.
Ultimately, healthy relationships don’t just feel good—they feel sustainable and enduring. While they may have ups and downs, the ups aren’t dramatic or unhealthy, and the downs are resolved quickly. They’re a lot like a hobby you love or a school project you’re passionate about—it takes work, but it doesn’t feel stressful or draining.